“You’re not here to get; you’re here to LET…” – Rev. Michael Beckwith
When it comes to both life and relationship happiness, I’ve come to see that one of the greatest sources of what I would deem unnecessary suffering is how focused so many of us are on getting. That’s not an unconsciously incomplete sentence…”getting” is deliberately being used as a verb, because – in so many ways – most of what you DO each day, whether conscious or not, is about getting, isn’t it? Aren’t a lot of your days (one way or the other) about getting ahead, getting caught up, getting the right love partner, getting the right job, getting enough money to not have to worry about survival, getting happier, getting more sex, getting thinner, getting numb, ad nauseum?
The rest of what Rev. Beckwith says in the above quote is that what we’re here to LET is our Soul…that we’re here to let our Soul, and its purpose, emerge. I add to that that it has to follow its natural trajectory of expansion, which happens when it gets as fully expressed internally and externally – as often as possible. More than contemplating your navel and dreaming of Porsches appearing at your curb like The Secret film said you could, this path being deliberately pursued with commitment is much more likely to bring you what you really wish for in your life and in your relationships.
So, easy for me to say, but what makes it so challenging to be on a regular basis? Your relationship to F.E.A.R., the most insidious alphabet soup that you swim in so much of the time, whether you know it or not. F.E.A.R. tweaks everything…how you talk, how you listen, how you choose, how you decide what to choose, and how much of your time you’ll spend trying to get instead of letting your Spirit run, guide, and infuse the show.
There are two versions of this acronym I like a lot that really speak to the point of this article: False Energies Appearing Real and Forgetting That Everything’s All Right. When you’re afraid, your mind desperately wants to get rid of that fear, even though it’s the mind that usually creates that fear. Our lizard brain is so hard-wired to look for the next threat, that it doesn’t really know what to do with itself when things are going well for too long. Then, it wants to create and exert control.
One of the best strategies for which (to the ego-mind) is to try to predict the future and then have you believe you can and MUST make it happen. When you get sucked into that rabbit hole, you are working harder, more focused on whatever it is (including an inner state) that you’re trying to GET to/acquire, your level of presence goes to hell, and you forget that everything just may actually be more than alright. Then, the false energies appearing real kind of thoughts that are telling you “Things are good now, but what happens when…?” ignite even more of the forgetting that everything’s alright kind of thoughts, and off you go into trying to make them all right. See what an exhausting cycle that is? So, what to do instead?
You need to re-connect with what it is you’re here to LET out, to LET emerge. What are the qualities of your essence and core truths that, when not lived and expressed, make you even more miserable than not getting all the other stuff you’re trying and working so hard to get (or NOT get)? What are the aspects of you that are alive and dynamic whether you’ve got money or not? Whether you have enough stuff or not? Make a list of them. For example, for me, my compassion is first and foremost on that list. That is such an integral part of my Soul’s nature that to not be connected to it and give it freely, no matter what, is painful for me. It also makes me feel miserable, particularly when I’m denying myself that compassion (sound familiar?).
Then, once you have the list, see where/how your pursuit of getting is blocking the qualities on your list getting let out. Once you start looking at things that way, you allow your heart a pathway into a different kind of collaboration with your mind…one that can evolve into a partnership, rather than a competition. Pick one thing on your list each day that, before you make your mundane To-Do list (that you never seem to have time to get done anyway) you’ll take on bringing committed focus to letting out. If you don’t know how to do that, then focus on paying attention to where you’re going to do something or prioritize something that’s going to prevent the letting…then, make a different choice.
What do you have to lose that you’re not already losing by focusing on F.E.A.R. and getting?