What’s TRUE Independence?

I’m taking a non-patriotic slant on today’s holiday and in this post.

I want to riff on a Spiritual Perspective on this Independence Day, before the day’s fully over.  First, though, I need to offer a brief bit of historical background that will help my perspective make a lot more sense to you reading it.

I spent 16 years in the Corporate world, 9 of them in Upper Management positions.  I was really great at what I did, too.  I worked an average of 6 days per week, often 7.  When I got home to my wife and kids, I said hi to my wife and kids, and then worked until dinner was ready.  Often, I’d go back to working after dinner, pausing long enough to say good-night to my youngest (the other being 14 years older than the youngest), followed by a few hours more work until I went to bed exhausted…only to get up at 5 am the next day to do it all again.

When I didn’t have work to do for my employer, I would start working on the to=do list(s) that were already building.  I gained 100 pounds, made great money, and became frighteningly disconnected from my self and my loved ones.  But, I didn’t notice, because I was climbing that corporate ladder.  I was BUSY!!  I was WORKING!!!  Was there anything more to do than that?

I was convinced I was doing the right thing that all men were supposed to be doing…providing for my family, no matter what.  What was I getting out of the deal?  A good paycheck, poor health, a sense of emotional barrenness, and complete disconnection from my Spirit, myself, and my family.

At 35, the Universe sent me a message I couldn’t avoid, to get my attention.  After 5 weeks of being virtually physically immobilized, I saw that something was really wrong.  I lost the weight, did a lot of painful work on myself, got my heart back (particularly through a profound re-connection with Spirit that I’d resisted for 20 years prior to that), re-deepened my marriage, got to know my kids (and let them know me), and I left a career (and job) that was killing me emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

What I went towards was the career I’ve had for the last 13 years as a Relationships & Mid-Life Transitions Coach & Counselor…a path I love to this day.  What was the secret to making this radical shift that so many wish they could do?  It’s really simple.

I stopped ignoring my heart.  I got the sense of how fatal the never-ending TO-DO list was ultimately going to be if I didn’t get off the treadmill of never stopping…never resting.  I listened to my sacred voice and guidance, and decided life was too short to keep being a Human Do-ing, rather than a human Be-ing.  I decided that following my Spirit’s guidance and needs was far more important than fulfilling on others’ expectations and my own terrors of what I could and couldn’t do.  My body and psyche literally stopping me in my tracks, to the point of literal physical and emotional immobility.  Was it easy?   Hell no.

But, hell was no longer acceptable for me to be living.

What’s this all got to do with the Fourth of July, you’re probably wondering about now, if not earlier?  It’s a true fable offered to reflect a vital lesson and share coffee-chat relevancy that’s never to late to get…as well as a Spiritual lesson for you to consider.

Ultimately, in my experience, the most direct path to Spirit is the one we find and feel in our connection to our heart…and to LOVE.  My heart is almost always available to me when I stop long enough to remember I have one.  Then, I actually have to check in with it, to see what it’s really feeling.  From there, I always end up being much clearer on who I really am, what Spirit’s trying to get me to notice for guidance & clarity, and how I’m to best offer my heart-guided actions and energies to my own well-being, to my family, to my community, and then to the world that needs a whole lot more LOVE going around more each day.

Independence Day in our country celebrates the end of our Country’s slavery to England.  Now, it’s also an opportunity to to end the tyranny not of a formerly sovereign nation, but an energy that has us convinced of its sovereignty over our life…BUSY-NESS!  DOING!!  We must, personally and as a culture, break free from the tyranny of the inexhaustible TO-DO list. Without doing that, our light – Spirit’s light as it shines through each of us – remains a little penlight beam we tolerate, rather than being the flood of light that’s always waiting for us to share with the world and ourselves.

For many of you, tomorrow’s a holiday.  Use it to practice independence from the To-Do’s, and try implementing your freedom as a Human Be-ing!  Don’t even look at a To-Do list tomorrow, but simply take the time to consciously and deliberately check in with – and feel – your heart, find out what it wants to do, and just do it…whatever it takes.  See how much that changes your life and those of the people around you who are just waiting for your LOVE-Light to shine.  Swap your To-Do list for a To-Be List.