What the Hell is “Success” Anyway?

Can success really just be a function of The K.I.S.S. Principle (Keep It Simple Stupid, for those under 40 who may confuse it with the band)?

 

Success, and happiness…those two things have been on my mind for most of my adult life (and my childhood, for that matter), whichhas been the problem. They haven’t been in my heart enough.

 

The mass definition of success seems to have morphed into an obsessive-compulsive focus on getting more, getting bigger, getting better.  “Less Is More” has become disturbingly out of fashion.

 

When someone asks you, “How do you define success?” are your default answers mostly professionally and financially oriented? It’s rare that the “go-to” is Spiritually or personally oriented (unless I’m talking to a devout Buddhist). Identifying yourself as bank balances and a lifestyle seems to have gone alarmingly from being a guy thing to a human thing.

 

Now, if I had THE answer, I’d gladly provide it.  But, like most people I know, I’m feverishly exploring the questions that might best lead me (and my clients) to the inner answers that can point us all towards the wisest direction for our Spirits.  What I CAN say is that it’s abundantly clear a big part of any elevated-consciousness definition of success HAS to center on the overall way life is experienced below the neck.  We need to shift from Deifying the ego and the mind, and find our way back to Deifying Love.
 

Sounds easy, right?
 

After 16 years in the corporate world, my body, heart, and life all felt mostly dead and flat while my income went up. When I finally started giving my true and enlivening gifts of healing, I came alive again.  Somewhere along the line, though, even THAT got co-opted by an unconscious, automatic view of success that was inextricably linked to survival…not literally surviving, but surviving in a lifestyle that allowed me to THINK I was a success instead of feeling successful.

 

The more money I made, the more stressed I got, followed by incessant worrying about keeping that “success.”  When I realized that being financially successful could feel identical to being financially unsuccessful, it became clear that a new paradigm of success was going to be needed for me, and the Planet.

 

So far, near as I can tell, the key to that new paradigm…one that’s sustainable for us and all species…has to rest in, be sourced by, and devoted to love and loving. Our worthy suffering (and, boy, are people suffering in ways, and at levels, that seem unprecedented to me) is based on our no longer being able to deny how we’re disconnected from – and even fending off – the love that is right there for all of us, if we’d only kick the addiction to busy-ness, speed, and GETTING. 

 

 It’s time to shift from defining success as a life style, and re-learn how to have and BE a life – like I imaging people did before technology came along – through authentic connecting and relating.

 

Where to start?

 

Here’s a success tip for you: start each day, no matter what, getting your keister on the Earth…in your back yard, at a park, on a beach…go to the Earth before your laptop, iPad, iPhone, or CrackBerry. Feel your own heart…and start asking it, daily, what IT needs.  Try focusing on really feeling your connection to those you love…you’ll immediately start feeling successful. If you don’t know how to focus on your heart and your feelings…again, get on the Earth, close your eyes, and focus on breathing…if that doesn’t work, give me a call.  If it does, then listen to what your heart’s trying to tell you about what success can really look like for you.

 

Geoff Laughton is Your Relationship Architect

He is a coach, speaker, facilitator, and two-time international bestselling author. Over the past 26 years, his unique approach has worked wonders with hundreds of private clients and couples from all walks of life and in a wide array of relationships.

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